Protector
by Eileen
Summary: Five times that Thor watched over Loki as he slept, and one time that Loki watched over him.


1.

"He's so small." Two-year-old Thor watched his new baby brother as he lay asleep in his cradle. "Was I that small?"

"No, you were a little bigger," his mother, Frigga, told him. "Now be very quiet. You don't want to wake him up."

"Why?"

"Because babies need a lot of sleep, to grow. Now come, leave him alone."

"I'll be quiet." He climbed up into the chair beside the cradle, his chubby little legs dangling over the seat. "Wanna watch him."

"Your father will be home soon."

"Daddy?" He looked up at her. He wanted to be there to greet his father when Odin came home from his negotiations in Jotunheim. But he also wanted to sit and watch his baby brother sleep. "Tell me when he comes."

"Very well, then." Frigga knew full well that the boy could not sit still for longer than a few minutes, and when she saw him go by in the direction of his own rooms, she thought he must have given up and was off to find something else to do. To her surprise, though, he came back carrying his favorite blanket.

"What are you doing?" she asked him.

"He's cold." Thor went to the cradle and tucked the blanket around the sleeping baby. "That's better."

"Don't wake him, now."

"I won't. Tell me when Daddy comes home." He sat down in the chair again and stared down at his brother with something like awe.

When Odin arrived home some time later, he found his wife sitting beside their new baby's cradle, holding their elder son on her lap. "Shh," she whispered. "Your sons are asleep, my lord."

"So I see."

"Should I wake him? He did want to meet you when you arrived."

Odin looked down at the sleeping toddler, and then at the newborn in the cradle. "No, let them sleep. How is he adjusting to having a brother?"

"Oh, he loves him. He sat there and watched over him as he slept, until he, too, fell asleep."

"He is a protector. Always a good thing in a big brother." He smiled proudly down at his son. "I expect great things from you, little one. Both of you."

2.

"Tor-tor?"

The plaintive call roused him from sleep. "Ki-ki?"

"I hadda scary dream." The two-year-old stretched up onto his toes to meet his brother's eyes. "Can I sleep wi' you?"

"Okay." Thor reached down and picked up his tiny brother, lifting him into the bed beside him. "There. Was it frost giants again?"

"They mad at me."

"Don't worry. I will never let them hurt you. Besides, they can't enter this realm without Father's permission."

"Huh?"

"They stay in Jotunheim, where they can't hurt us. Don't be afraid. I am here, always, to protect you."

"Okay, Tor-tor." The younger boy snuggled close, burying his head in Thor's back. Thor turned over so that they were face to face, and then held Loki close to him. He pulled the blankets up so that they covered his brother—Loki was always cold, it seemed. It was summer now, but it was a cool night, and the window was open, blowing a night breeze their way.

"Go to sleep now, Ki-ki. Have no fear. I am here to chase the bad dreams away." He ran his hand through the younger boy's dark hair while humming their mother's favorite lullaby. In a few minutes, the child was asleep, and Thor lay there watching the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest, feeling the warm breath against the back of his neck.

_I won't let anything bad hurt you. Not ever._

A short time later, he too was asleep.

3.

"It's not fair!"

Loki sat on his bed, glaring at the closed door, as if his eyes could burn holes through it. The six-year-old pouted some more before flopping back onto the bed and sighing dramatically.

"It was an accident," said Thor. "We'll tell Father that when he comes for us."

"We're not supposed to play ball indoors."

"We were on our way out, when you dropped the ball. It bounced away and hit the vase, knocking it onto the floor. I tried to catch it, but I wasn't fast enough. That is what happened."

"That's not what happened!" Loki sat up and looked over at his brother, sitting on the other bed. "We were playing catch as we walked through the hall, and I missed your throw. When the vase fell, you were nowhere near it."

"Yes, but Father doesn't know that."

Loki's mouth fell open. "You are going to lie to Father?"

"Not lie. Just . . . reinterpret the truth."

"You're no good at lying. Let me tell him."

"No. If I tell him, he will believe me no matter what I say."

"And he won't believe me?"

"You're not exactly the most honest person in the realm. He knows not to trust in your words. Me, he will believe. You keep quiet and let me handle it."

"But—"

"Loki! Do you **want **to be punished?"

"No—"

"Then let me tell him!"

"But it's not your fault!"

"It is my fault. I am the responsible one. I should have known not to play ball near breakable things. I should have stopped you before you threw the ball to me. I shouldn't have let it go on as long as it did. Forgive me?"

He looked so sad that Loki came over and sat on the bed beside him, slipping an arm around him. "Of course I forgive you," he said.

Just then, the doorknob rattled. The boys stiffened, then moved away from each other. Time to find out what their punishment would be.

Odin entered the room to find the two boys sitting side by side on Thor's bed, looking as if they expected to be executed for their rather minor offense. "Well," he said. "You boys have had long enough to think about what you have done. What shall I do with you?"

Thor stood up. "It was my fault, Father. I'm the one who threw the ball. I should be the one to be punished."

For the second time that day, Loki was able to do no more than stare with his mouth hanging open. Why would he do this? Why would he take the blame for something that he hadn't done?

"Very well, then. I don't like to punish you boys, but there are rules, and you must learn to obey, or pay the price. Thor, you knew you were not allowed to play ball indoors, and you did so anyway. You are hereby grounded for a week."

"What? No!" Loki shot to his feet. "Father, no! Don't do this!"

"Silence, Loki! Unless you wish to share his punishment."

He should have spoken up, he told himself later. But instead, he kept silent about his part in the incident.

"You will be allowed out for meals, and your lessons," Odin continued. "Otherwise, you are confined to this room, alone."

_Am I sleeping elsewhere, then? _Loki thought.

Thor apparently had the same thought enter his mind. "But Father, where will Loki sleep? This is his room, too."

"Hmm, you're right. Well, all right, he can still sleep here, but during the day, I want you to busy yourself elsewhere, do you understand, Loki?"

"Yes, Father." _So which of us is being punished?_

"As it's too close to bedtime now, I'll leave you to get ready for bed. But the punishment starts tomorrow, and I expect you to follow it—both of you. None of your usual tricks." He was looking at Thor when he said it, but Loki knew exactly to whom that last comment was directed.

After their father left the room, the boys sat on their respective beds and looked at each other.

"You shouldn't have done it," Loki said. "You shouldn't have taken the blame for me. A week! I thought he would go easy on you!"

"So did I. Oh, well. It's only a week. It could have been worse."

"How could it be worse?"

"Get your pajamas on. It's bedtime."

"But I'm not even tired!"

"It's the only time we'll be able to see each other, for a week. Only at night. At least he's letting you stay in our room."

"I suppose." Loki undressed as slowly as possible and put on his favorite green pajamas. He started to get into his own bed, but Thor said, "Come over here," and he crossed the space between them and climbed into Thor's bed without a second thought. The older boy held him, the way he had when Loki had been younger and had nightmares, and they stayed that way for quite a while before they separated again and Loki went back to his own bed. He did feel a little better, and he went to sleep right away.

Thor lay there watching him for some time. He knew he shouldn't have taken his brother's punishment for him. But he had thought that Odin would go easier on him, the favorite. (Oh, like he didn't know. He had already seen how his parents doted on him and gave him lots of attention, so that there was hardly any left for Loki, which was why Thor was always there for him when he needed it. Someone had to be.)

Besides, it **had** been his fault. He should have put a stop to it as soon as he saw what Loki was doing, but he had gone along with it instead of being the responsible one and following the rules. So maybe Father's punishment was justified after all.

He fell asleep, and when he woke up, Loki was gone.

Two days was long enough. He had no one to play with during the day—the children he normally played with were Thor's friends, not his, and they had no interest in letting him tag along with them solo—and besides, it was time he took responsibility for his own actions.

This was what Loki told himself as he made his way to the chamber where his father currently worked. He did not even wait for permission to enter the room, but flung the door open wide and charged in.

Odin looked up at the sudden interruption. "Loki, what is it? Is something wrong?"

"I broke Mother's vase, Father. Not Thor. He only said it was him so I wouldn't get in trouble. But it was me. I threw the ball. He told me not to, but I did it anyway. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"I see." Odin pulled up a chair and invited the boy to sit. "I was wondering how long it would take you to come to me and confess."

For the third time in as many days, Loki's mouth hung open. "You knew it was me?"

"I did."

"And you let Thor take the blame for what I did?"

"I knew you would come forward eventually. Being deprived of your favorite playmate was worse than any punishment I could have given you. And here you are."

"So . . . does that mean you won't punish me?"

"Oh, no, I have to give you **some** punishment. Understand, my son, I don't do this to hurt you, or make you suffer. I punish you so that you may learn that actions have consequences. There is a lesson here that you must learn."

"Yes, Father."

"Come to me next time, and tell me what you have done, instead of letting your brother take the blame."

"I didn't tell him to do that!"

"But you didn't stop him, either. Not telling the truth when you should is as bad as lying. For your punishment . . . you will serve out the rest of your brother's week of confinement. And . . ."

"And?" There was more?

"You will spend the next few days doing your brother's chores as well as your own. He took on a burden for you; now you must do the same for him."

"Yes, Father." He supposed that it was only fair.

"And tell Thor that he is no longer punished." It was the equivalent of a dismissal. Loki took it as such, and left in search of his brother.

That night, Thor sat on his bed and watched Loki sleep, much more easily than he had the last few nights. "You have done the right thing, brother," he whispered, though he knew Loki couldn't hear him. "I knew you would."

4.

"Really, Thor, I'm fine . . ." Loki protested, as his brother led him to his room. At least he was spared the humiliation of being carried like a child. Which he wasn't! He was twelve, almost a man, and deserved to be treated like one.

"You are not," his older brother said.

"It was nothing! A minor stomach upset, no more!"

"You vomited all over the table in the middle of a formal banquet! That is hardly minor!"

"I . . . couldn't help myself."

"If you had only told me, before we went to dinner, that you were feeling ill, I could have spared you the embarrassment of being ill in front of everyone."

"I thought it would go away." The words sounded weak even to his ears.

They reached the door of Loki's rooms. The two boys were old enough now that they slept in separate rooms, though not too far apart from each other. They did still have the occasional bad dream, both of them, and knowing that the other was not far away helped a great deal on those occasions.

Thor picked the younger boy up, despite his protests, and laid him on his bed, smoothing down the covers beneath him. "You will be fine now."

"Please, just go. I'm all right. I feel much better now."

One hand rested on the boy's forehead for a moment. "You feel feverish."

"Your hands are cold."

"Do you wish me to send for a healer?"

"No! I mean, no, thank you. I will stay here. You need not threaten me with healers."

Thor looked at him in confusion. "This was no threat. I merely asked if you needed one."

"No," he said. "Not as long as you're here."

"You wish me to stay, then?"

"Please."

"Very well." Thor tucked his younger brother into bed and then left the room briefly. He returned with a bowl of water and a cloth, which he dipped in the water, wrung out, and then placed on Loki's forehead. "There. Does that help?"

"I guess."

"Do you still feel nauseous?"

"Not really. You should go back to the party, Thor. They will be expecting you."

"I know. But you need me more."

"I do feel better now. You don't want Father to be angry with you. You can go. I'm only going to sleep. If I can."

"But I like to watch you sleep."

"Don't tease me, brother, I'm not in the mood," the sick boy grumbled.

"I was being sincere. You go to sleep, then. I'll be here." He sat down in the chair beside Loki's bed and made himself comfortable.

A short while later, Odin came looking for his eldest. He was not at all surprised to find Thor in Loki's room, watching over him as he slept. "How is he?" he asked.

"He seems a bit better. He does have a fever, though."

"Why did you not send for the healer?"

"He doesn't need a healer. He has me to look after him."

"But you have other responsibilities. There are others that can care for him—"

"No, Father! He only feels safe when I'm there! You have to let me stay!"

Odin considered this. He knew that the boys had been close since they were tiny, and that was important. However, they were not children anymore, and Thor in particular, as the heir, had duties that he could not avoid. He was expected to attend formal banquets and such occasions, no matter what else was happening. A king must be able to put aside his personal feelings for the good of the kingdom.

But he made his decision, not as a king, but as a father.

"All right," he said finally. "You may stay with him. But only for tonight. Tomorrow I expect to see you in your proper place."

"Yes, Father." Thor nodded solemnly as his father left the room.

Loki was shivering, he saw as he approached the bed. It was probably the fever, but he had always been cold. Thor lifted him up and tucked the blankets around him tighter. He found another on the closet shelf and added that, hoping that it would be enough. He hated to see his younger brother suffer, although he was hardly ever ill.

Thor sat down in the chair again and prepared himself for a long night of waiting. And that was where his mother found him, when she came to check on her younger son, some time later.

As he had so many years ago, he had fallen asleep in the chair, watching his brother sleep.

Watching over him.

Protecting him.

She lifted him up-would that he were still as light as he had been at two!-and laid him on the bed beside his brother. She had no fear that he might become ill as well; Thor had always been extraordinarily strong and healthy.

They needed each other, her two boys.

She hoped they always would.

5.

"The prisoner is not allowed visitors," the guard told Thor.

"I want to see him."

"The Allfather's instructions were-"

"Damn your instructions! I want to see my brother!"

It had been two weeks since they had returned from Midgard, after the battle of New York. Thor had brought Loki home to answer for his many crimes, and the moment they had set foot on Asgardian soil, the two of them had been surrounded by guards, who escorted them to the deepest dungeons they could find. There Thor had had to say goodbye to his brother, at least for the moment, but he assured himself that it would not be forever. They would see each other again.

He had been granted permission to visit. So what was the difficulty here?

"My prince, I cannot go against the Allfather's wishes . . ."

"I spoke to him only this morning. He gave me leave to come here if I wished. Why do you bar the way?"

"We have heard no such orders-"

Just then, a messenger arrived and gave them the news of the change in visiting arrangements. Thor stood back with his arms crossed, and waited for his apology.

"Forgive me, my prince. I did not know of this alteration. You are free to enter."

He nodded and stepped inside. It didn't take long to find Loki's cell, as it was the only one occupied at the moment. Loki was lying on his side, his back to the cell door. Thor couldn't tell whether or not he was asleep, or merely lying in wait. He cleared his throat to announce his presence.

"Go away."

"I will not. I would speak with you."

"I have nothing to say to you. To anyone. My life is over; I care not what happens to me now."

"But I do." He sat down on the hard floor. "Will you not look at me?"

"Why should I?"

"It's difficult to speak to you like this."

"Why do you bother? Why did you bring me here, instead of turning me over to the Midgardian authorities-what are they called, SHIELD?-and letting them deal with me?"

"They wanted you dead. That is not acceptable to me."

Loki laughed, a bitter, humorless sound. "And you think I would have better luck here? There are too many here who also want me dead. You should have left me where I was. Or else thrown me back into the void. Perhaps there are worse races than the Chitauri, but I wish to take my chances."

"Do you hear what you are saying?" Thor stood and began to pace back and forth. "You would throw your life away? Why? The Loki I grew up with would never have given up so easily!"

"The Loki you grew up with was a lie! A lie perpetrated by the man you call Father!"

"This again." He moved closer to the cell door, but still some distance away; he knew his brother too well to be taken in by tricks. Well, except for the one with the duplicates. But he had learned his lesson from that mishap. "Does it matter so much that you are not blood-related? That you were born to another family? A family, I might add, that you sought to destroy!"

"They didn't want me. No one wants me."

"Why do you think that?"

"Someone who truly loved and wanted me would have told me the truth, long ago, instead of having me discover it by chance! Why did he never tell me who I really was?"

"He wanted to protect you."

"No. You are my protector. Always have been. Did you know?"

"Not until you did."

"Would you have told me, if you did know?"

"Of course I would."

"You say that now, but . . . would you?" The sneer was evident in Loki's voice. He still refused to face his brother. "You chose your new friends, the brightly-colored one, and the metal man, and the archer and the woman, and that green beast, over me?"

"I chose to protect Midgard from those you had allied yourself with. Why did you do this? Why did you choose them over your own people?"

"YOU ARE NOT MY PEOPLE!" Loki screamed, and retreated to the far corner of his cell, still with his back turned. "I would rather have no one than a thief and a murderer!"

"And yet, you have murdered so many."

"They matter not."

"They matter to me. What has happened to you, to change you so? This is not the brother I remember! Why have you turned your back on us?"

There was no reply. There was no sound but Loki's ragged breathing.

"I only want answers, brother. Why do you not give them to me?"

Silence.

"Do you want me to go?"

Loki was silent for so long that Thor started to go, but was stopped by one word: "Stay."

"Then talk to me. Tell me what happened to you."

Loki rolled over so that he was on his back, and then sat up slowly. "Do you know," he began, "that time is not the same in other parts of the universe as it is in others?"

Thor said nothing, but nodded.

"Here, for example, a few months passed. On the homeworld of the Chitauri . . . they held me prisoner for four hundred years."

There was nothing he could say to that. Thor merely stared at his brother. Yes, there were a few more lines on his face, and of course his hair had grown long and wild, but . . . four hundred years?

"Yes, brother, four hundred years. And every day of every one of those years was filled with torture of the worst kind. They broke every bone in my body, gave me time to heal, and then did it again. They burned me and drowned me, electrified me and sliced off bits of my skin. They did this to me again and again, until finally I agreed to do what they asked of me. Until I came to see that they were right, and I was wrong."

"You were tortured," Thor said, trying to make sense of this. Was this true, or was it another of Loki's lies?

"Would you like to see the mark that they left on me? No matter how many times I healed, they burned it in again and again. Here! Here is their mark on me!" He lifted his tunic and showed Thor the alien mark, seared into his flesh. Thor could see the blurred edges, where the branding iron had been applied again and again.

There was . . . something else. His eyes narrowed as he looked at the mark. There seemed to be some sort of faint blue energy signature surrounding it. It was barely there, but he could just make it out.

"This mark," he asked, "is it magical? Is there some enchantment they put on you? Is it on you still?"

"Don't you think that your SHIELD would have detected magic?"

"Not if it was masked by something else. You have had your own magic stripped away. But they missed that." He got up to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to tell Father. I have to tell him that you were coerced into these acts, and bewitched into this way of thinking. I knew this wasn't you, could never be you. You may be angry and hurt over your discovery, but not murderously so. You would never go to these extremes unless someone else were controlling you."

"Only the weak-minded can be controlled."

"And after four hundred years of torture, you remained strong?"

Loki had nothing to say to that.

"That's what I thought. I have to tell him. It may mean the difference between life and death for you."

"Don't waste your breath. What I have done is too monstrous, too extreme, to simply be excused by claiming that I was controlled by the will of others."

"I have to try. I will not let you die!" Thor felt as if he were on the verge of tears. This was not how he wanted it to end between them. "I will return shortly."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Was that a jest?"

"I find nothing funny in my situation."

"Oh. Well, then . . . I will return and tell you what has happened. Please, if you can remember anything else about what happened to you, tell me. It may make the difference between life in prison, and . . ."

"I get the picture. Go. Go, then. If anyone can change his mind, you can."

Emboldened by those words, Thor went.

He returned to the cell to find Loki already asleep, lying curled up on his side, but facing out the door, as if watching for Thor's return.

Well, then. The news could wait. And good news, it was: Odin had agreed to put the trial on hold long enough to investigate these claims. In the morning, he would call in a healer. And a mage, to determine if the mark was truly magical, and whether or not it had been used to control Loki like a puppet.

But for now, all that was in the future. And for the first time in two weeks, Thor felt certain that there would be a future, for the two of them. He sat there on the floor and watched Loki sleep, deeply. Nothing seemed to trouble him in his dreams.

And that was as it should be.

+1

"What happened?" Loki demanded, seeing Captain America come rushing in, carrying Thor's unconscious, battered body in his arms.

"I . . . I couldn't make it in time." Rogers looked extremely distraught. "I saw that it was about to come down, and I told him to get out of there, but he said he could hold it long enough for me to evacuate the civilians from the area. Then I heard it start to go, and I ran back to help him, but . . ."

"Is he alive?"

"Barely," said Iron Man. He pressed something on his wrist, and his armor retracted. "We had to dig through a huge pile of rubble before we found him. He's breathing, and he's got a pulse, but he's in bad shape."

"I can heal this. Bring him to the medicenter."

Cap raised an eyebrow. If anyone had told him, a year ago, that he would one day be taking orders from Loki, of all people, he would have laughed. But since his exile, Loki had found a home here, with his brother's friends. He had fought beside them, and in doing so, redeemed himself and won back his magic.

And now here he was, living in Stark Tower, mostly because he had nowhere else to go, but partly because the team realized how valuable he could be as an ally. And that was why they took his orders, although there weren't many.

They brought him down to their new state-of-the-art medical center, although Loki could have done the healing anywhere. Cap set him down very carefully on the closest bed, and then he and Tony stood back, waiting to see what would happen.

"This shouldn't take long. He has suffered much worse." Loki summoned all his magical energy into one bright focal point, and released it bit by bit, repairing the damage that had been done to the thunder god's body by the falling building. Bones knit themselves together; blood and dirt vanished from his skin; bruises faded and disappeared. In mere minutes, Thor looked as if he were merely asleep.

Which he was.

"I don't understand," Loki said, looking down at him. "He should be awake by now. Perhaps the internal damage was more severe than I thought. Another round should do the trick." He sent out the waves of healing energy again, until every trace of the magical glow was gone.

And still Thor did not open his eyes.

"His body is healed," Loki explained to the others. "But his spirit . . . that might take longer to recover. The rest is up to him now. You may go. I will let you know when he is awake."

The two men nodded and left the room, Cap looking over his shoulder as he went. Loki supposed he still felt guilty about not reaching his teammate in time, but it was not his fault.

"You idiot," he murmured, staring down at his brother's sleeping form. "You thought you could hold up an entire building by yourself? Know your limitations, brother. Or learn the hard way.

"This is so strange," he continued. "You've always been the one watching over me. Always. From the time we were very small. You were always the strong one, the protector. You took care of me, even when I got you into trouble. You were the best brother in the nine realms, and I . . . I didn't deserve you.

"You cheered me up when I was sad; you comforted me when I was lonely; you took care of me when I was sick; and who took care of you? Not me. You never seemed to need taking care of. I was always the weak one.

"Open your eyes, brother. Look at me. I thought you had gone soft, when you fought to defend the people of this realm. I saw them as insignificant, weak, helpless. You saw them as so much more. You showed me that the people of Midgard, of Earth, were worthy in their own right. It took a war, a banishment, and another war for me to learn that lesson. Just think, if you hadn't let me in that first day, when I came here and asked you to let me stay, where would I be now? Where would I be, without you to protect me, and teach me by your example?

"Please, Thor, wake up! I have healed your body. Why does your spirit resist? What do I have yet to do? Tell me! Give me some sign, that I may bring you back to us! Please, brother, I can't . . . I can't do this without you. I need you. Come back to me, please! I need my big brother! Please!" Tears fell from his eyes and plopped onto Thor's face, but they failed to wake him.

Loki sat down heavily in a nearby chair, exhausted and emotionally drained. Why hadn't he seen it all along? All his life, there had always been one person who was there for him no matter what. The person he had betrayed and tried to destroy.

"Am I being punished, then, for my arrogance and my jealousy?" he asked no one in particular. "Take me, then, too! I can't do this without him. I . . . I love him. Please, someone, anyone, bring him back. Even though I don't deserve it."

"Where did you get an idea like that?"

The voice made him jump. It took him a moment to realize what had happened. "You're awake! How much of that did you hear?"

"Nearly all of it." Thor slowly swung his legs off the edge of the bed and sat up.

"Were you awake the whole time?"

"I was somewhere between sleep and waking, I think. Did you mean what you said?"

Loki pondered how best to answer the question. Before he could think of a suitable lie, the truth sprang to his lips. "Yes. Of course I did. I would give everything to keep you here with me."

"You still need my protection, then?"

"Look at what happened when you left. I went completely to pieces."

"That is not how I remember it."

The two of them embraced in a way they had not done in some time.

And when Steve came down to check on how Thor was doing, he found the god awake, sitting up in the chair, and keeping watch over a sleeping Loki.

"Don't wake him up," he cautioned.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better than I have in a long time." He looked down and saw that Loki was shivering again. Always cold, he was. "Can you hand me that blanket over there?"

"Oh, sure." Steve handed him the blanket off the other bed. "Are you staying down here for a while?"

"I think so. Captain?"

"Yes?"

"It was not your fault that I was injured. I was an idiot, for trying to hold up an entire building by myself."

"Oh. Um, okay."

He couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw Loki smiling in his sleep. Thor spread the blanket over him and said, "We will be fine, Captain. As long as we are together. I am here for him . . . and he is here for me, too."


End file.
